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I'm starting this journal away from my normal one. I don't want my friends reading about my eating habits. I want to put it out there though. I'm almost 5'5". When I started this weight loss thing this time, i was 200. That was 10/8/04. This morning 10/12/04 I was 192.5 . I've had tendencies towards Ana my whole life. I was able to maintain a normal weight until having kids. After the last one I was 215. I managed to get down to 174 but it took me 3 years. After a break up last year, I got down to 156 but it was brief. I gained 20lbs. This past year alone, I gained another 20lbs. You can say i've had enough. I want to be thin. I don't care what it takes. It's been a struggle for the past 12 years and the only way I seem to lose is through major restriction. I'm eating very little and drinking a ton of liquids. The funny thing is that I think most of the time i'm more thirsty than hungry. We eat too much crap. My husband eats like a pig. He's gained a ton of weight since we got together, last year there was at least a 75lb difference between our weights, now it's probably 40. I'm not happy with that. I'm fixing it. He can get fat while I get thinner. Right now my goal is to get down to 170lbs by the end of the year so I can get into my clothes in my closet from last fall. I'm about to start a new job and that should help tremendously. Feel free to add me to your friends list but if you are just going to be an ass, or tell me stupid shit, I really don't want to hear it.

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